BY ERIKA MCCARTHY, MMS SENIOR EDITOR AND WRITER
Photo by FatCamera via Getty Images.
Physicians dedicate their lives to healing others, but when they struggle, finding help can be daunting. For Alicia Morgan, MD (a pseudonym to protect her identity), Physician Health Services (PHS) provided the lifeline
that transformed her personal and professional life. Now, a decade into sobriety, Dr. Morgan shares her journey and the invaluable role PHS played in her recovery.
A Wake-Up Call
Like many professionals battling addiction, Dr. Morgan was initially in denial about her drinking. “I thought my drinking wasn’t hurting anybody,” she recalled. “I had this belief that I had it under control.” However, a fender bender brought
everything to a head.
Though she hadn’t been drinking at the time of the accident, she had been the night before. While the other driver was found at fault, Dr. Morgan was so rattled she repeatedly questioned the officer about whether she had caused the crash, raising
suspicion. When she returned home, she started drinking — her typical response to stress. Later, the police officer at the scene showed up at her home, stating she had been seen driving erratically in her damaged car. Now under the influence,
she nervously asked if this would affect her job. The officer then notified the Massachusetts Board of Medicine (the Board), which mandated Dr. Morgan seek help through PHS.
What initially felt like a humiliating and intrusive process turned out to be a blessing in disguise. “I wish I had found them earlier,” Dr. Morgan reflects. “If I had known that I could seek help without my entire world falling apart, I would
have done it sooner.” Several years into her sobriety, she would call that same officer and thank him for his part in her intervention.
Comprehensive Support and Structure
Following her referral to PHS, Dr. Morgan entered an intensive three-month inpatient program in Alabama. “They handled everything — it was like a concierge service,” she recalls of PHS. “It took the thinking out of it, which was exactly what I
needed.” Upon returning home, PHS continued to provide structure, including a portable breathalyzer program, Soberlink, which she used for seven years.
Initially, she resisted the oversight, feeling it was an invasion of privacy. But over time, Dr. Morgan came to appreciate the community and accountability. “PHS support group meetings were life-changing. Being in such a respected group of professionals,
who all shared my struggle, removed much of the shame and anxiety. It also gave me so much hope to see that these people who had been or were in the midst of an equally devastating experience were smiling and laughing with true joy and seemed
at peace with themselves. These people became my people. I could finally see that there was life after this completely earth-shattering experience.”
A New Path Forward
Ten years into sobriety, Dr. Morgan has not only rebuilt her life but also found a new calling. Once trained as an internist, she now works in addiction medicine as the medical director of two comprehensive treatment centers.
“I would either be miserable and still drinking, trying to get away with it, or something much worse,” Dr. Morgan acknowledges. “I didn’t think I could live through something so humiliating, but having PHS made all the difference. They build a
really special community. You don’t want to let the others down.”
Dr. Gary Chinman
Gary Chinman, MD, assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, clinical advisor at PHS, and one of the program’s previous associate directors, notes that physicians today are facing more challenges than ever. “It’s never been more
difficult to be a physician,” he shared. “The environment they are working in — their autonomy is more restricted, and demands are very heavy.” But he’s seen the power of PHS’s services. “PHS as an organization is very caring of physicians. They
will find ways to give a physician the kind of help that he or she needs.”
Dr. Steven Tosi
Steve Tosi, MD, who has been a PHS board member for 12 years and medical director, corporate risk, insurance, and claims at UMass Memorial Health, adds, “PHS offers a unique opportunity for struggling physicians to get the help they need confidentially.
It offers a very safe space so they are not out there alone — often, it’s the only place for them to go.”
For physicians hesitant to seek help, Dr. Morgan has a clear message: “You’re very much in denial when it’s your own substance use. But PHS is a compassionate place, not a scary one. We are all angry and horrified at the beginning, but with time it
gets better. You get what you thought you wanted from alcohol and so much more.”
She stresses the importance of facing reality before it’s too late. “I tell people the stories of those who never made it to recovery. The scary depths that this disease can take you to. I found that recovery gave me all the things I had unsuccessfully
tried to obtain from drinking and actually so much more: appreciation of simple pleasures, deeper relationships, enjoyment of passions I had no time for when drinking, and beautiful ways to cope with stress and find comfort.”
PHS didn’t just help Dr. Morgan recover; it gave her a second chance at life. “It takes a village, and PHS created this very loving, caring, yet strict village for us. I feel so lucky to have had access to it — most people don’t get this kind of support.”
For any physician struggling in silence, Dr. Morgan’s story is proof that hope, help, and a fulfilling life await on the other side of recovery
